I wanted to be a teacher.
Correction, I wanted to be a writer but teaching would be my backup career that would hopefully support my writing dream. With this thought in mind, I was in trouble from the very beginning.
I tend to glamorize jobs by imagining a fictional life of a certain career and confusing that with reality. I was going to be the sweet, kind, friendly teacher. All the children would love me and work cooperatively. I would allow them to talk in class as long as they were not shouting across the room. I would spend half an hour planning what I was going to do the next day. Then I would head home and write.
Boy was I wrong. I am an Introvert which means I like quiet time. I don't like talking much. I prefer to listen. I don't say anything unless I have to. So in the classroom I would have to do most of the talking, even when I was not in the mood to talk. I needed to make sure every child was on task all the time. This completely drained my energy. I came home so tired I could sleep for twelve hours straight if I could, but of course I couldn't because I still had to plan for the next day. I spent one hour planning one lesson (this included writing the lesson plan). This is most likely due to inexperience, but I hated it.
I needed to have some relaxation time which was mainly me watching comedy movies or TV shows. I wouldn't go to sleep until I felt I had laughed enough to feel okay to teach the next day. Since I was already tired, I would wake up the next day feeling just as exhausted.
Yup. I don't think this is the career for me. Now I am stuck. I'm lost. But I can't be the only one feeling like this, right?
